My ex-wife kept the Clone-a-Willys I made her every Valentine’s Day. So I made sure her new boyfriend met all of them.

During my marriage, I had this running joke (desperate cry for sex) where I gave my wife a "Clone-a-Willy" of myself every Valentine's Day. I thought it was funny and kind of sweet. She never really laughe or used them, as far as I know. Our sex life was dusty. The Clone-a-Willys were my subtle way of saying, "Hey, remember sex? Can we please have more sex?"

It didn't work.

Fast forward: we get divorced. Messy divorce. I asked if I could take the Clone-a-Willys with me, because it felt weird leaving them behind like some haunted dildo time capsule.

She just looked at me, dead serious, and said:

"They're mine now."

I said, "They're nearly a part of ME."

She didn't care. She kept them to annoy me.

So yeah. My ex-wife has a literal collection of my dick. Like trophies.

Anyway. A few months ago, she gets a new boyfriend. He's one of those smug guys who always brings up CrossFit. Yeah I fucking know you exercise CrossFitt or CrossFitte as I say in Norway (fitte translates to pussy)!

I have (legally) met him shortly a couple of times. Other than talking about CrossFit and looking down at me as I'm some kind of freak, he recently told me; "I'm the man now, and she needs a real man. Not someone who fucks sexdolls".

To make things worse, he just spilled my private dark secrets to his friends. My ex wife and I have an agreement that I will leave here alone if she doesn't tell anybody about my secret sex life with dolls and toys. But now they both have ruined everything: She told him and he told this friends about me (I know this because a friend of mine told me (we are not from the biggest city)).

I have kept my part of the agreement! She got the best divorce deal. I feel betrayed. I'm depressed and have been through hell. My ex wife promised to keep my dark history a secret in our divorce agreement.

Today I decided to do a little revenge. I sent here new boyfriend this message:

"Hey man, if you ever want to see the full collection of my Clone-a-willys? Check the purple box on top of the closet in the second floor bedroom"

That was it. No threats. No drama. Just a gentle hint.

Just some hour later I got this message back:

"Å fy faen så vemmelig" (Oh fuck those where disgusting!)

Apparently, he did look. And he did find them. All of them. Probably lined up like goddamn Infinity Stones.

I just got a message from my ex wife. She's pissed.

Revenge complete.

TL;dR: I gave my wife Clone-a-Willys every Valentine's Day. After our divorce, she kept them. Her new boyfriend spilled my private dark secrets, so I told him to check the purple box in her closet for the Clone-a-Willy collection. He looked, and now they're both pissed. Revenge complete.