Regretting having a threesome with my boyfriend and friend
Last night we all got pretty drunk and for some reason I suggested we have a threesome and right after it, I regretted it instantly as I know we weren't there in our relationship yet. Now I just feel sick and my chest hurts. I can't stop the images of my boyfriend doing stuff to my friend and having sex with her. I'm worried I won't be able to get past it. Any advice would be greatly appreciated and please no hate, I am really struggling right now. I take full responsibility for it because it was my idea, I just need advice from anyone who's been in a similar situation and how they dealt with it
Top Comments:
talk to him about it
Just to add. Don't just talk, but please try your best to not hold back in fear of judgement. You need to be open about this and if this relationship is important, then you need to do your part and express what you feel. You will be afraid all the same because, yes this relationship matters and his opinion is important to you, but you must do it anyway and confide in him. We do have crazy ideas sometimes and oftentimes we change our minds or regret going through. It is normal and you shouldn't be ashamed.
Sorry to hear. Take it as an experience in life. Before it, you didn't know how you would feel about it. And now you know how you feel. Let this experience help navigate your life onwards. Life is all about learning.
You know he's had sex before you, and that's been okay. Not saying today, but if you can be okay with his past this can become part of the past as well. It was spur of the moment so be fair to yourself- you had no prep time and I'm assuming nobody had much foresight for much aftercare. Sex happens, everybody consented equally, and it doesn't sound like physical limits were broken. Shame/confusion/unsurety are kinda to be expected. Deep breath. And then another deep breath. It's something that's a shared experience of your past no matter how you proceed from here, but doesn't have to be a big pivotal point. You don't know that you aren't there yet in your relationship, you have buyers remorse immediately after the act, and that's normal. You can work through this, maybe not in the end but you surely can do give it a chance to work out. Now take another deep breath. Be open about your feelings, ask your boyfriend about his. See about some aftercare as you can now, just presence together/golding hands/snuggle have an intimate meal together. Not something where you have to talk the whole time, just where you can share together- a commonly shared favourite movie you've both seen a hundred times may work. It's an experience, we don't know our limits until we exceed them and you have now found yours. Give yourself forgiveness and time to process. Nobody is wrong, nobody did anything wrong and experiences/exploring is what makes life fun!! Now another deep breath! You have this.
