Witnessed My Wife (29F) pleasuring herself to her own OF content.
My wife (29F) and I (31M) have been married for one year and together for four. Early in our relationship, she shared that she had an OnlyFans account in her mid-20s to make some money. I accepted this as part of her past, as she was younger and trying to get by. She never shared details like her profile name or showed me any content, and I assumed (perhaps wrongly) that the account was deleted. She described the content as mostly "softcore" and said it didn't gain much traction, so I didn't press further, respecting her privacy and prerogative.
Last month, we installed security cameras in our home. Out of curiosity about the new system, I reviewed some footage and came across my wife pleasuring herself in the living room. I'm ashamed to admit I watched longer than I should have. I couldn't see the content she was viewing, but I noticed her remove a USB drive and take it to the bedroom.
Our sex life has always been lackluster, and she's mentioned she might be asexual or unable to orgasm from sex. I know im not the best sexual partner she had due to honest conversations early on but Ive always offered to do extra in the bedroom. She's always been private about her desires, which has left me curious about her kinks. That curiosity got the better of me that weekend (again, I'm ashamed). I found the USB drive she had hidden and checked its contents.
I was shocked to discover raw, hardcore videos that appeared to be from her OnlyFans days, based on her age in them. I only watched two before it became too much to handle. The videos showed her experiencing intense pleasure—shaking climaxes and clear signs of arousal that seemed genuine and unlike anything I've seen in our intimate moments.
I confronted her about the USB (lying that I found it by chance and viewed its contents). She admitted she kept the videos for unspecified reasons but said she had forgotten about them and felt embarrassed and ashamed. I didn't push further or admit what I saw, but now I'm struggling with so many questions. Why did she feel the need to watch those videos? The pleasure in them seemed real, which makes me question her claim of being asexual or unable to orgasm. I know adult content can be performative, but the physical signs seemed convincing.
I acknowledge I violated her trust by snooping, even if it started accidentally. I also feel there's something deeper here that's hard to accept or address. I believe her personal pleasure is her own, but I want to understand what's going on. I know I should talk to her, but I worry the conversation will stall unless I admit what I saw, which could create a bigger divide. Should I let this go, or is there a way to approach this honestly without causing more harm?
