What is Pegging?

‘Pegging’ describes the sex act of one person anally penetrating another with a strap-on dildo. The term was coined by author Dan Savage in his sex advice column, “Savage Love,” in 2001, initially being specific to vagina owners being the penetrators and penis owners being the ones on the receiving end. The word has since evolved, as words tend to do, to be more inclusive for all types of gender identities, anatomies, and relationship dynamics. We love a good sex glow-up!

The Appeal of Pegging

The reasons people love pegging are as diverse as the individuals who partake or want to partake in the act. Physical pleasure is a significant motivator for many when it comes to sex, pegging included. The anus and rectum consist of about a bajillion (not literally, please don’t @ me) nerve endings that feel fab when properly stimulated, which pegging has the power to do.

For some, the appeal of pegging stems more from their minds. In instances where a vagina owner is penetrating a penis owner, the role reversal can be quite a thrill, allowing both parties to explore new ways to play. Perceived power dynamics that assume penetration is a dominant action and that being penetrated is a submissive one can also be a turn-on for peggers and their partners, making the sexual activity commonplace in the BDSM community.

The Art of Conversation: Discussing Pegging with Your Partner

If you’re interested in pegging your partner, the first step to potentially living out your fantasies is to let them know! As is the case with any intimate conversation, you should be considerate of timing and setting before approaching the topic.

It’s best not to broach the subject right before or directly following sexual activity. Revealing your desire to peg your partner just prior to getting busy can result in pressure for them to agree straight away, while bringing it up immediately after sex might make them feel like their performance and your sex life as a whole with them is lackluster. Instead, choose a moment when they’re not vulnerable and the mood is not sexual. In terms of location, you’ll want to be somewhere private where you both feel safe physically and emotionally.

While it may come naturally to ramble on about how hot you find pegging and why it’s such a turn-on for you, be sure to leave room for your partner to share their thoughts on the matter. Address their concerns and answer their questions to the best of your ability.

Navigating Consent and Boundaries

Whether your partner says yay, nay, or may-bay, it’s imperative that you respect their decision and don’t pressure them about changing their mind if their answer isn’t the one you were hoping for.

If your partner says “no” to pegging:

Thank your partner for listening and let them know their aversion to pegging won’t negatively impact your relationship. Sharing fantasies can be vulnerable, but it can be equally nerve-wracking to tell your boo you’re not up for a sex act they’re super interested in. Reassure them that you respect their boundaries and don’t bring up the idea of you pegging them again unless they start the conversation.

If your partner says “yes” to pegging:

You’ll now want to have an in-depth conversation about your future pegging sesh to ensure all parties are as comfortable as possible, manage expectations, and make your first time go as smoothly as possible. Discuss what the ideal pegging experience looks like for you both, and ask what you can do before, during, and after pegging sex to make them feel most at ease and cared for.

Safety First: Precautions and Tips for a Healthy Pegging Experience

We’re all adults here, so I think we can admit that sex isn’t without its risks - this is especially true regarding anal play.

Minimizing the risk of running into fecal matter

No ifs, ands, or butts about it: when it comes to the rectum, shit happens. I mean, that’s literally what it’s there for! But you probably don’t want said shit to happen in a pegging sesh, and there are ways to prevent messy situations.

The receiver should have had a bowel movement within the last 12-24 hours pre-play. It’s important that they thoroughly cleanse their anal area after their last poop - this could be as simple as washing the exterior with water and mild soap or as extensive as using an anal douche. Either will work - the choice really just boils down to the pegging participants’ preferences and comfort levels.

If you do choose to use an enema, do so at least one hour prior to anal play or you could increase the chances of encountering fecal matter. Check out our guide on How to Use an Anal Douche for more enema tips!

Even with the best precautions, there’s no foolproof way to guarantee fecal matter or residue won’t sneak its way into your playtime. If a mess or accident does occur when you’re pegging someone, don’t be an ass about it. Clean up, reassure your partner that this natural bodily function doesn’t make them disgusting, and try again another time.

Preventing infection and STI transmission during pegging

Like all other forms of sexual activity, pegging can result in the spread of sexually transmitted infections (STIs). You can reduce that risk by taking the following actions:

• Knowing your and your partner’s STI statuses and making medical decisions based on that information, such as taking medications like PrEP.

• Using safer-sex barrier methods like condoms and dental dams for your bodies and any sex toys you use together.

• Not sharing porous strap-on dildos with different partners or sticking exclusively to non-porous dildos that can be disinfected.

And STIs aren’t the only type of infection you can get from sexual activity, either, which is why it’s important to thoroughly wash your sex toys before and after each use.

Pain and injury prevention

Pegging doesn’t have to be painful for the receiver - in fact, it shouldn’t be! Plenty of lube (that’s compatible with the materials of your strap-on dildo), patience (don’t go 0 to 100), and an appropriately sized sex toy for the receiver’s anal experience level will help keep your pegging experience healthy and pain-free for all parties.

Though it may be tempting for nervous first-timers, avoid using numbing agents that reduce sensitivity. Pain and discomfort are your body’s way of telling you to stop or slow down. By ignoring those signs because you aren’t aware of them, you could sustain an injury.

Gear Up: Essential Items for Your Pegging Journey

While it’s up to you and your partner to decide which intimate products you’d like to bring to the pegging party, you’ll, at the very least, need a strap-on and lubricant to play.

Strap-on harnesses

There are two main options when it comes to strap-on equipment: traditional harnesses (paired with compatible dildos) and strapless strap-ons.

Harness-style strap-ons are a better option for newbie peggers as they’ll securely keep your dildo in place so you can thrust away without worry. Naturally, you’ll want a harness that fits your body type, so be sure to check the product’s dimensions and size guide before committing to one. Your harness must also work well for your anatomy, so don’t forget to check whether a certain style will work with what you’ve got going down below the belt.