From First Orgasm with a Shower Head… to Emergency Room Chaos

Alrighty it's now the morning after; I am so embarrassed with myself and my hubby won't stop laughing at me.

Last night hubby & I had our first child free night in over 6 months (thanks for baby sitting grandma) & headed over to a friends place for a bbq & drinks around the bonfire.

As usual, as the night progresses the conversation turns to the topic of sex & masturbation. One of my girls friends starts talking about using the shower head to... you know 😉

As a 35 year old woman I had literally never thought to use the shower head for any other pleasure than washing my body. Sure, I have toys (I'm no prude) but I had never thought about using an everyday home appliance for my own pleasure down there.

The night ended and we went home. Smelling of the bonfire I tell hubby I'm having a shower & he says he doesn't care, he's going to bed.

I should admit I was pretty tipsy by the time we got home (we took an Uber in case anyone's concerned we drove under the influence).

I'm washing myself and my hair and the thought hits me. Ok, imma try the shower head...

Ok feels good but need more pressure..

Ok feels better but I could still use more pressure..

Ohh ok that's just right. Yeah that's the spot... oh YEAH THAT'S THE SPOT!!!!!

...Screaming: Ahhhhhhhhhhh fuuuuuuuccckkkk!

Just as I was having a mind blowing orgasm, my leg jerked and gave way. I slid to the left and went crash right into the shower screen, smashing it as I managed to land out of the shower holding myself planking on the toilet.

Hubby came running in and I'm telling you it was a fucking sight.

I'm planked from the shower across the toilet (In like a stiff leaning position), glass everywhere, a bit of blood and a shower head just dangling from the wall going at full speed while I'm crying from the pain and laughing from the embarrassment.

I fucked up y'all.

It takes hubby a few seconds to compose himself because he thinks this is the funniest shit that's ever happened.

I managed only a few cuts to my left arm from basically flying with the glass onto the toilet and a few cuts on my feet. Lucky.

Anyway we went to the ED because I did have a few decent cuts but I only ended up needing 2 stitches in my arm and 3 on the side of my foot from where some glass got stuck. Again, lucky.

I told the nurse & doctor that I slipped while cleaning the shower. You know, because most people clean their shower at 1am.

I'll be telling our landlord the same thing today.

TL;DR went to town on myself with the shower head, as I orgasmed I slipped and fell through the shower screen and went to the ED for a few stitches.

Edit: thanks for reading about my misfortune, for sharing your stories and for having a laugh with (and at) me. Thanks for the awards too.

To answer the biggest question: I was embarrassed and panicked when I said I was cleaning and slipped rather than just saying I slipped. Stupid I know, but none of us are perfect.

To all the men jealous of the female clit, just remember you can pee anywhere with ease and we can't so you've got that 😂

To the people who criticized my writing style, my overuse of the word hubby, who think I'm a man, who slid into my DMs just to slut shame me & tell me off- fucking hell just get over it and scroll on by. I'm not responding to anyone who attacks me, it's pretty sad you've got nothing better to do than bring negativity where it's just not needed.

I've also learnt that the shower head seems to be the most common way for us females to get off and I've learnt a lot about how to do it safely so thank you!