Guys wanted to breed me just because they could

Everyone has done silly things in their most beautiful teenage years, or things that in hindsight were less smart but ultimately beautiful and which you look back on fantastically. Me too, and in hindsight, I have never regretted a second. I am Isa, bi and 20 years old. Now that I am a few years older, I have become a bit calmer, but when I was 18, I was completely out of control.

Watching porn, fingering myself, and being fucked were my top 3 all-time to-go. Doing homework was not an option, because I much preferred watching porn or letting myself be fucked. I was also known for it at school. Everyone knew that if you wanted quick sex, you had to call me. It was an open secret, a whisper in the hallways that I answered with a secret smile. I enjoyed that reputation, the attention, the feeling of complete freedom and control over my own body and desires.

What I was also known for was my appearance. Tall, slender, with curly dark hair and eyes that always had a challenging twinkle. And partly because of my appearance, I refused to take birth control pills during that period. Why? You would get pimples from them, your skin would become ugly, and who knows what other side effects you would get from them. Fuck that, hell no. I would rather get pregnant than get pimples. My youthful vanity was stronger than any sense of responsibility. And to be honest, I didn't even think about it. It was just who I was.

I also always fucked without a condom, because with one was really terrible. That rubbery feeling, the interruption, it just wasn't the same. In addition, creampies were a must in that time. Many boys found that super hot, and so did I. It was the ultimate act of surrender, of complete pleasure. Some came on my face or in my ass, but most still chose my pussy. The sensation of the warm, sticky fluid spreading inside me was intense and made me uninhibited.

That doesn't make it any easier to explain in hindsight. Because yes, what would I say? I was really crazy and tried to fuck as many boys as possible. I totally didn't realize what the consequences could be. I lived in the moment, guided by lust and a deep-seated curiosity about everything forbidden or exciting. The adrenaline rushed through my body with every new encounter, every time I pushed a boundary.

Until I actually got pregnant. The realization came like a punch to my stomach. The nausea, the missed period, the disbelief. And then the panic: I had no idea who the father could be. There had been so many in those months. The list of names, faces, and situations flashed through my mind, but none stood out as the possibility. They were all just a fleeting memory of a moment of pleasure.

I had the child aborted, after considerable doubt. That doubt was real and sincere. There was a small voice whispering about another life, but reality hit harder: I was 18, completely unprepared, and who would the father be? It was one of the hardest decisions of my life, but it's better this way. I don't regret it. It was a wake-up call, a moment of pure, raw reality that brought me back down to earth.

Now I am a bit calmer. I do indeed watch more porn than I have sex, and I am a bit more focused on other things, such as my studies and my future. I think about the choices I make, and I am more aware of the consequences. But deep down, that same me from when I was 18 is still there. The urge for freedom, for exploring my sexuality, for breaking taboos, is still there. The fire still smolders, sometimes it flares up, and then I know: that wild, uninhibited Isa is still there, only now with a little more wisdom and a lot of fantastic, unforgettable memories. And of that, as I said, I have never regretted a second.