My husband came infront of me in 8 years and now he doesn't trust me a – Adorime
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My husband came infront of me in 8 years and now he doesn't trust me anymore.

Oct 08, 2025

cuipingcheng

My [35M] husband [34M] is schizophrenic and is on meds for his hallucinations. This doesn't really matter other than he can't orgasm. (Which has caused a lot of frustration for him) Or he couldn't, because about 5 days ago we were having sex like normal and he was on the bed on his back while I was doing penetration. Usually we go until I'm done and then he kinda just glows in the almost orgasm feels. So I was thrusting, pretty sure I was doing everything the way I usually do, I start spacing out for a second on him. Then he makes a whimper, reaches his hand out to touch my abdomen and starts having a intense orgasm. Which, by the way, was the cutest thing I've ever seen. After that he kinda just froze and I thought he was would be happy that he finally came in almost 10 years.(which I've never seen him orgasm) Instead, he kinda just looked up at me and glanced around. He made eye contact with me again and kind of gave me a glance that really said ' I'm uncomfortable '. I took the cue and left to give him space, which he usually needs after sex. Ever since then we have had sex 2 times and one time he tried to stop my movements and he ,for what seems almost acidental, started to orgasm. But he covered his dick with his hand so I couldnt see. The other time he just flat out stopped me when he got close and ended it there. Now, I don't think it's a problem connected to his shizophrenia because usually you can see other signs, but he does have sexual trauma from his biological mother from when he was a child, which I won't go into much. He now seems to come to me less to have casual conversation or ask a question or for help. I tried talking to him on 2 seperate occasions but he kind of just shuts down and comes slightly irritated or defensive. Is this a common experience?? Also sorry for bad grammar or spelling this is rushed.

Edit/update: he broke down during sex after some praise and he admitted to avoiding his meds because he missed one day. He is currently being prepared to be hospitalized in a pyschward because he relapsed on unhealthy coping mechanism which he needs professional care for, thanks for all the helpful comments, means the world if it helps him.

Top Comments:

Seems like he has trauma around orgasms. Therapy and couples therapy may help you both because this seems to be out of the wheelhouse of just here some friendly advice and try to handle this on my own kind of thing.
I think this is in the realm of needing a therapist. My hunch is that his recent orgasms and his sexual trauma are intertwined. Trauma and grief, especially when deeply embodied, can last a very long time. Sometimes we have no idea when something will bump the button and all those intense repressed or unaddressed feelings will come to the surface. I am not a therapist, so I can't tell you the best way to respond to him. But do continue to love him, give him space, maybe invite him to share in a non-sexual context, and then also seek professional support. Remember to take care of yourself too, and also don't take his processing and emotions around this personally. It sounds like you're already a wonderfully supportive spouse, and he was able to feel things in himself he hasn't before, likely due to the safe sanctuary space you two have. (Based on just your post, I don't know if there's more that could change any of that). What do you think? Edit: also, I'm sorry to hear that he's been shutting down your communication with him. Hopefully that's just temporary until he's in a less reactive space. That's the kind of stuff you'll need a therapist for. Ideally one for you, and a therapist for him. This is stuff he needs to do solo work on with his own therapist.
If his meds make him unable to come and he just came in front of you are you 100% sure he's still on them or that they are still as effective? He might be on the edge of something which is a factor in his discomfort. It could be past trauma related or something else. He probably needs a check in with his doctor.
I can only surmise what happened with his mother resulted in him orgasming. It's not that he actually enjoyed it but it's a normal thing that happened. He probably felt dirty, awful, gross when he did orgasm bc what he was doing went against what he felt inside. He mentally hated it but his body acting like he liked it made him not want to orgasm. Him having an orgasm likely gave him the feeling he had when he ended up orgasming when he was younger. To us, an orgasm is a physical feeling but for him and it's intertwined with a negative emotional response. I'd try to work through that with him, he'll probably need to see a sex therapist, which I'd suggest he does. When he's worked through all this he'll be able to fully enjoy having an orgasm with you. Best of luck.

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