There’s way too much pressure on men when it comes to sex

Oct 13, 2025

ZhouJordan

This is something that isn't really addressed or acknowledged, but I don't think it's fair. Men are expected to hold an erection, cum at a certain time, have a big penis. I mean, yes, women do have pressures on them too but the pressures on men are rarely acknowledged. And these are things they can't really control, I mean sometimes you cum a little earlier than usual, and sometimes you lose your erection, and some of you may not have an eggplant sized piece but these things don't make you any less lovable.

You may have already met someone, and if not, you will meet someone who will fall in love with you, who will click with you and will find it sexy when you cum regardless of when, because they'll love you and love seeing you in pleasure. If you lose your erection, well, you don't need to be in your head, your SO will enjoy just kissing and cuddling you just as much, even if your friend doesn't want to cooperate.

It's not just about the sex, it's also about the intimacy, if I'm undressing myself with you and being in a state I wouldn't put myself in with anyone else, I'm enjoying all of it, all of you, no matter what. I have no unrealistic expectations and I'm fully aware you're human and not a sex robot. My body has its moments where it's not cooperating either, sometimes I'm in my head, sometimes I hide certain body parts that I'm insecure about and that can affect my performance, but I don't think I've ever felt nearly as much pressure as I would if I were a man.

Men, stop being so hard on yourselves, it's okay to be human and your body will not cooperate every time. Us women, we love you, and if some of us women are mean about it, then you should walk away and find a more rational person to have sex with.

Top Comments:

Another one I don't often see mentioned - I feel like as a man, I'm expected to want sex all the time. If I don't, my partner feels unattractive, and I feel like I'm expected to be always ready to go at the drop of a hat, because the stereotype is that's how men are. And it's hard, because the worst thing for a woman is to feel unattractive (as far as I can tell), and I would never want to make someone feel that way. But in long-term relationships, there'a lot of non-sexual intimacy, and sometimes it's hard to shift gears.

Men are usually expected to be the initiators as well. It can suck sometimes if you get a bunch of rejections in a row. There's pressure to pursue and potentially get rejected again.

I'm in my first relationship ever currently and the biggest surprise to me about it has been how little sex my boyfriend requires. It's been beaten into my head since I was a child that men are sex crazed animals who are always down for the puss, which obviously is true for some but not for all. I've dealt with feeling unwanted and unattractive and I'm slowly trying to retrain my brain that him caressing my cheek is showing love just as much as sex, and that this is our normal and we don't have to have sex daily to be in love. I think us girls sometimes forget that not every mans main need is sex.

This! I had to 'retrain my brain' as well because I didn't realize just how much social conditioning had taken place... I was so confused when my bf didn't seem to always want sex because the world had prepared me to believe otherwise.