I masturbated to my (now ex) boyfriend cheating on me.

It was literally that meme that's like "you vs the girl he says not to worry about." He had a coworker who was fucking gorgeous and so obviously flirted with him and so obviously hated me and I'd talk to him about her and he'd be like "stop worrying so much, I'd never get with her and betray you blah blah blah."

So I get off a night shift early because my job was slow and my manager told me to go home, so I'm not in the best of spirits. I get home at 1:30AM, I'm supposed to get home at 5AM. And lo and behold, I hear a rocking bed in our bedroom.

I can hear it from our kitchen. I don't know what to do, I'm kinda in shock. I sneak to my bedroom, and look who it is. Let's call her Brandi. She's riding my boyfriend, her big perfect tits bouncing, moaning and saying how big he is. He is big.

And how do I react? Do I storm in there and confront them? Do I yell and kick them both out? Do I do anything a normal person would do? Nope!

To my own fucking surprise, I put my hand down my leggings and start touching myself. I watch them fuck and moan, I watch him grab her tits, all this shit. And guess what? I fucking orgasm!! I bite my hand to stop from being loud.

Now, to make something clear, it was low lighting in that room. Only one of the bed side lamps were on. The door was cracked, I was covered in shadows. She didn't look my way and he wasn't facing me.

So I orgasm, I bite my hand, I kinda stagger into the living room and sit down. And I sit there for maybe another half hour as they fuck. And I feel fucking pathetic, man. I feel like a loser. I just got off to my boyfriend cheating on me with some bimbo. But fuck, I don't know. The embarrassment turned me the hell on I guess. Im petite, she's busty. Im average, she's gorgeous. Fuck, I don't know.

Anyways, eventually they finish, and eventually my boyfriend comes out. And I forget what else happened because I went crazy on him. Nothing physical, but I said some very very mean things. Like, making fun of his trauma type of mean. I guess I regret it. But I also don't really care anymore. I paid for that bed and those sheets, and he cheated on me on them. Fuck him.

I kicked him out of the apartment. I don't remember saying a word to the bimbo. I mean, yeah, she probably seduced him or some shit, but she was crying in a clearly practiced way and I didn't want to give her the attention she wanted.

Before I kicked him out, I made him wash the sheets. And when he was officially packed up and moved out, when I knew I'd never have to deal with his loser ass again, I laid down in my clean sheets and masturbated to the memory of watching them. And I still masturbate to it today.

I don't know if I'm a cuckqueen or a voyeur, maybe both. The embarrassment of her being much curvier than me turns me on. Idk. I haven't gotten fucked in a while.