a comment made me not want to have sex with my fiancee anymore
Hi. we are 28(F) and 30(m). We've been together 4 years and are getting married next May. he said something a while ago and I don't know if i'll ever feel confident having sex with him again.
We've ALWAYS had a great sex life, and my whole life i've been pretty confident in my body and vagina. I should note he's always said my vagina has no smell, it's like water, and he likes that. Generally i have very little scent but personally i find it comes and goes depending on my cycle.
a few weeks ago, we were having sex and when he pulled out, there was dried flakes (almost like skin flakes) on his dick. this has happened before once in a while, and goes away. I've never figured it out what it is. It probably happens 3 times a year.
We remarked on the flakes which didn't bother me, then he said “I noticed there's also a stench”. I asked him what he meant, and he said he noticed my vagina had a very strong “pungent “ odour. I started crying because hearing the word “stench” associated with your vagina is awful..
The other problem is that to me, it just smelled like a VAGINA. i've never had BV but i have had yeast infections before. He's told me nicely and gently when he thinks maybe I have a yeast infection and I've never minded.
After I cried, He started to backpedal and tell me that im beautiful, he loves my pussy etc.
I said i was hurt by it but tried to move forward and get ready for an event . An hour later, he brought it up AGAIN and said that he feels like he can still smell it…. and started smelling his fingers and then said nvm I can't smell it actually.
At this point, I became VERY upset and cried because i felt like he used some of the most hurtful words possible to communicate this to me and there was no way he didn't realize how hurt and sensitive i felt. Later on, I calmed down and told him I know he didn't mean any harm but I'm in awe of the language he chose to use.
I went and got tested and i don't have any infections. This was right before my period so I think maybe my discharge was different.
it's now been two weeks and I CANNOT bring myself to have sex with him. I'm soo self conscious. i don't know if i'll ever want to again. I am not trying to punish him but how do I move forward from this?
