Positive STD test in a 15 year monogamous relationship…

Oct 11, 2025

cuipingcheng

Last week I saw a new gyno, and everything went well. I really liked the new doctor, and we had a good rapport. Later, I get an automated message a few days later- not a call- saying I have gonorrhea. My partner and I have been monogamous for 15 years, and so this was a huge shock for me. I know everyone who is in a monogamous relationship and tests positive for an STD will say "my partner would never cheat!" But that is truly how I felt. Even if I didn't trust my partner, he literally doesn't have time to have an affair lol. Well I didn't want to be that annoying person calling and saying "You have to be wrong!" So I sent a kind email to my doctor asking for more information, since I didn't receive a call about treatment or anything. Well she writes back a few hours later. It wasn't a false positive- it was a "charting error"!!!! I do NOT have gonorrhea, and neither does my partner.

I'm pretty upset about this. I could have completely blown my marriage up over this test result. Obviously I'm thankful it was a mistake, but it was a pretty serious mistake in my opinion.

Top Comments:

Wow, very calm and level headed. Kudos to you... That would be a massive blow to the trust in a relationship if you would have reacted differently and then found out they were wrong. These kinds of stories help everyone see that patience with a cool collective thought process is always the better route. Thank you for sharing! Much love and luck to all! 👍🏻😉

Ehh I don't know if it would be a massive blow to trust. Trust isn't about blind faith. Getting an STD in a 15 year monogamous relationship is a pretty solid indicator of infidelity. It would more so depend on how she confronted him. "I always knew you cheated!" would obviously be a big blow. But "I tested positive for an STD and I haven't had sex with anyone but you for the past 15 years, so this is strongly pointing to you cheating on me" is reasonable imo. He would obviously deny it, and hopefully she would then call and double check the test results. Trust doesn't mean ignoring strong signs of infidelity.

This is a rational take from that perspective but getting accused of cheating when you didn't would cut extremely deep. With two level heads in the relationship, it would likely be an easy hurdle to overcome together but a incorrect accusation on the calibur of cheating could definitely cause strain.

Oh my gosh, you are not the only person this has happened to. A few years ago I got a call from my doctor's office telling me I had trich and promising to write me a prescription. I got off the phone and spent about an hour frantically spiraling and trying to figure out how I'd broach this with my partner. Luckily before I sent any texts that would blow up my relationship I got a frantic call from my doctor telling me the nurse had mixed up the files and I did not have any STIs. Someone else had trich, and they wanted to follow up with me to ask how I was doing after getting my IUD placed that morning. Relief. She apologized profusely. It is a very serious mistake! I get that stuff happens but yikes.

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Positive STD test in a 15 year monogamous relationship…

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